A woman is feeling like a jilted bridesmaid after participating in her friend’s wedding.
In a post on Reddit‘s “Am I the A——?” forum, the 30-year-old woman detailed how she had such a disappointing experience serving as her friend’s bridesmaid that she has decided to “cut off” their relationship. “While I was excited about her wedding, some things leading up to the day and on the wedding itself left me feeling hurt,” she wrote, before listing out everything that happened between the pair.
The woman said that the bride, 28, was rude to her multiple times — including “snapping at [her] over minor things” — in the weeks leading up to the wedding and on the big day itself. She also cited some “transportation issues” that led to her feeling unappreciated.
Related: Woman Feels ‘Hurt’ After Best Friend ‘Sacked’ Her as a Bridesmaid Due to ‘Cost-Cutting Measures’
“[The bride] arranged a shuttle bus for me to get to the venue, but after the wedding, I decided to go to the afterparty to spend more time with her. That meant finding my own way back to my hotel. It hurt that she didn’t seem to care how I got back,” the bridesmaid wrote.
She noted that she had already spent a lot of money on Ubers, her hotel room and other expenses so “it felt inconsiderate, especially when other guests seemed better accommodated.”
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Two women arguing (stock image)
The bridesmaid also claimed that the bride treated her “like just another guest,” despite their close friendship and her role in the wedding party, and barely interacted with her at the wedding.
“I get that it’s a big day, but as her bridesmaid, I expected at least a little effort to acknowledge me,” she explained. “It felt like I was just there to fill a spot, not because she valued my friendship.”
Not wanting to spoil her friend’s special day, the bridesmaid chose to wait until a few days after the wedding to address her issues. But their conversation did not go well.
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“I called her to explain how hurt I was. I was hoping for an apology, but instead she got upset, saying I should’ve brought it up sooner,” the bridesmaid wrote. “She claimed it was inconsiderate to wait and that I was unfair not to communicate during the planning process. She didn’t apologize for anything and dismissed my feelings.”
Related: Bride Wants to ‘Kick Out’ Bridesmaid Because She’s ‘Shown Zero Interest’ in Her Wedding
Ultimately, the bridesmaid decided to tell the bride that she didn’t think they could stay friends, and removed her from her social media. Now, she is questioning whether she mishandled the situation.
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An upset bridesmaid looking over at bride and groom (stock image)
In the comments section, people did not mince words as they shared their opinions that the bridesmaid was overreacting and trying to make her friend’s wedding all about herself.
“You are suffering from main character syndrome — the wedding wasn’t all about you, you were a bit player in someone else’s main event,” one Redditor wrote.
Another chimed in, “You describe the most selfish bridesmaid ever and you blame your friend?”
Other commenters pointed out that it’s normal for a bride to be busy and preoccupied in the midst of her wedding.
“This was her day and she had a lot going on. All of the slights seem minor, unintentional and unplanned. The bridesmaids are there to support the bride, not the other way around,” one person wrote, also noting that the bridesmaid could have spoken up sooner. “Telling someone in the moment allows them to fix things. You never gave her that opportunity.”
Someone else asked, “You were a bridesmaid, but it sounds like you were expecting the bride to do everything for you? Did you help her out at all?”
Another commenter urged the bridesmaid to pause and consider the bride’s point of view. “I’d encourage you to reflect on how most weddings work. Brides are pulled in a hundred directions, and their time with any one person is often limited,” they wrote. “That doesn’t mean she didn’t value your friendship, but the wedding day may not have been the best moment to gauge her appreciation.”
The commenter also suggested that the bridesmaid reach out to her friend and try to have a more constructive conversation about the situation in order to try to salvage the relationship. “Give her a chance to share her perspective,” they advised.
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