Author and presenter Dawn O’Porter has recalled feeling “sad and broken” amid her husband’s Hollywood success.
O’Porter married The IT Crowd actor Chris O’Dowd in 2012. They share two children, Art and Valentine, born in 2015 and 2017, respectively.
The TV personality, 45, rose to fame as a presenter of documentaries and columnist for Stylist magazine.
In a new interview with The Times, O’Porter reflected on a difficult time in her professional life that coincided with her then-boyfriend’s success in Hollywood thanks to his role in the 2011 hit comedy series Bridesmaids.
“We had some amazing times, but there was so much anxiety when I should have just enjoyed it,” said O’Porter. “My husband was a global superstar, but my confidence was the lowest it had ever been.”
At the time, O’Porter had been let go from her TV presenting job and her weekly Stylist column.
“I was on a red carpet for the first time in my life, in shoes borrowed off friends with toilet roll stuck in the back to make them fit,” she continued. “I couldn’t afford to get my hair cut. I thought, what am I doing here?
“I always thought if I was here it would be because of my own achievement, instead I was sad and broken, wishing I could bring something to the table.”
O’Porter went on to recall how she would obsessively search her name on Twitter to find people asking when O’Dowd – newly globally successful – would break up with her.
“People would be saying, ‘How soon will Chris dump her?’ I couldn’t stop looking,” she said. “I would never do that now.”
Reflecting on that period of her life now, O’Porter said she takes a different approach.
“Chris once said of those years, ‘You just took some time out of work to find your husband,’” she said.
“He was being flippant, but it made me realise it was an unbelievably successful moment to find the man I love and I was so consumed with my career I let that overshadow my joy.
“Now I see relationships and motherhood are just as much a part of the spectrum of success as career – which doesn’t mean my career doesn’t make me very happy.”
O’Porter has published nine books, including six bestselling novels. Most recently, she has published her sixth novel, Honeybee, the third in a series about friend Flo and Renée whose mothers have died of cancer when they meet at school in Guernsey in the Nineties.
Although the book is not autobiographical, it was inspired by certain events in O’Porter’s life. She also grew up in Guernsey, and her own mother died of breast cancer when she was six years old.