“At the start of the year I didn’t know if I wanted to play any more. That’s how bad it was.”
Cliftonville’s invincible Women’s Premiership season will mean a lot to everyone at the club, but it means more than most to Marissa Callaghan.
After the death of her nephew, Ryan, in October 2023, Callaghan admits she had been struggling.
Football has been her entire life and she is one of the sport’s leading figures in Northern Ireland, but she was questioning her future in it.
One year on and standing with the Women’s Premiership medal around her neck, after helping Cliftonville to an unbeaten campaign, she was glad she has persevered.
“It’s been a tough year,” Callaghan told BBC Sport NI.
“You do have a wee blip. I think it was the third time in my career where you go, ‘I’m done’. But I’m not.
“I feel great and I work really, really hard on everything – my nutrition, my sleep, my training.
“I keep up with the youngsters. I might be 39 but I’m not 39 in terms of my football age.”
Callaghan, who stood down as Northern Ireland captain in May, said the support of the coaches and staff at Cliftonville, along with her wife, Paula, and family, helped her rediscover her love for football.
“I have so much support around me and the club has been amazing,” she added.
“The past two or three months I have turned it around mentally. I’ve just really, really enjoyed myself.
“I think my performances have shown that, but how can you not play well when you have this team surrounding you? They are unbelievable.”
Callaghan will turn 40 next year, which leads to inevitable questions about her future of the game. When asked how long she could keep playing for, her response was one of passion for the game, with a huge smile on her face.
“Definitely for a year, anyway! We have the Champions League to look forward to.
“We’ve one more game here with the Irish Cup final.”
‘That game changed our season’
It has been a stunning campaign for Cliftonville, who not only reclaimed the Women’s Premiership title off Glentoran, but they dismantled their rivals en route.
The title was secured by the Reds with a 6-0 win over the Glens at Solitude, and the trophy presentation was carried out at the ground of their nearest neighbours, Crusaders, who gave a guard of honour as the champions emerged onto the pitch.
The Reds also won the League Cup in June, and the only blot of their copybook all season was a narrow defeat by Glentoran in the County Antrim Cup.
Callaghan says that sole defeat was the turning point of their season, and she is “proud as punch” of her team-mates who went on to finish the league campaign with a perfect 100% record.
“I think that was the change in our season to make sure we went out to win every single game.
“You can become a little bit complacent when you are winning every single week.
“We have worked so, so hard. We are out training six or seven times a week. We train like professionals.
“The management team has been unbelievable. The club has been amazing and every single girl has put the work in. I’m delighted.”
Cliftonville can win a historic treble if they defeat Lisburn Rangers in the Irish Cup final at Windsor Park next Saturday.
It is a trophy that has escaped the Reds’ grasp since 2015, although they have come close on a number of occasions.
They were defeated by Glentoran in the final last season, and Callaghan says she “can’t wait” to try and put things right for the Solitude side.
“It’s so exciting,” she said.
“I’m absolutely delighted to be involved in that final. I can’t wait.”
While any final defeat will sting a competitor, the 2023 defeat by Glentoran was put into perspective for Callaghan by Ryan’s passing.
One year on, she wants to do her nephew proud at the National Stadium.
“It would mean everything. It’s the day after our Ryan’s one-year anniversary,” she said.
“We’ll be wearing the armbands and it will be in memory of him. I played in it last year just a few days after losing him.
“It was really hard and the team were unbelievable. Football really got me through it.
“I’ll go out with the team, with my family watching, and we’ll do it for him. I’ve no doubt that we will go out and put on a show.”