NFL players have hearts of steel, muscles of iron and — every so often — brains of concrete.
How else to explain how some of the finest athletes in the world make some of the most ridiculous mistakes in sports?
We saw a classic mental misfire on Sunday as Chicago completely botched its way right out of a nearly guaranteed win against Washington, a play so mind-numbingly stupid it got us wondering … is it the dumbest play in NFL history?
Let’s consider some of the most boneheaded maneuvers the league has ever seen. In this case, we’re focusing on intentional moves — both on and off the field — that were horribly wrong, not regular gameplay that ended up looking ridiculous. (So: no Butt Fumble, no Miracle at the Meadowlands, no Orlovsky safety. Those were unplanned — though hilarious — mistakes in the course of regular gameplay.)
10. Garo Yepremian’s Pass
The classic in these sorts of lists. In Super Bowl VII, Garo Yepremian, the Dolphins’ highly accurate kicker, saw his field goal attempt blocked and the still-live ball skittering away. Yepremian grabbed the ball and attempted a pass, but the ball went straight up in the air, ending up in the hands of Washington’s Mike Bass … who rumbled 49 yards for a touchdown. Humiliating for ol’ Garo — but Miami won anyway, capping what’s still the only undefeated season in NFL history.
9. Just fall on it, man!
Late in the 2009 season, the Rams’ James Butler picked off the Lions rookie QB Matthew Stafford in the end zone. Good news, right? And then Butler made a regrettable mistake — he got up, took two steps into the field, and then backpedaled into the end zone for what he thought was a touchback. Sorry, bud. That’s a safety. (The Lions still lost, 17-10.)
8. Wrong way!
Here’s another catastrophic safety from days of yore. Back in 1964, San Francisco’s Billy Kilmer fumbled the ball, and Minnesota’s Jim Marshall ended up with it. But Marshall had gotten turned around in the scrum, and so when he ran untouched for 66 yards into the wrong end zone, he’d scored not a touchdown for the Vikings, but a safety for the 49ers. Fortunately for him, the Vikings would go on to win anyway.
7. Just fall on it, man! II
Remember: there are different rules for punts and kickoffs, and woe to the receiving team who confuses them. In Week 17 of the 2016 season, the Jets, who were already walloping the Bills 23-3, kicked off late in the game. The Bills, perhaps defeated, simply let the ball trickle into the end zone — where the Jets’ Doug Middleton fell on the live ball, making it effectively the longest onside kick possible. Ouch.
6. Leon Lett I
Celebrating early is a recurring theme in this list, and few celebrations are more infamous than Leon Lett’s in Super Bowl XXVII. Late in an absolute mauling of the Bills, the Cowboys’ Lett recovered a fumble and began rumbling toward the end zone. But with about 10 yards remaining, watching himself on the Jumbotron, Lett began celebrating — only to have Buffalo’s Don Beebe catch up to him and knock the ball out of his hands. You never want to make your career-worst play in the Super Bowl, and fortunately, Lett didn’t …
5. Leon Lett I
1993 was a rough year for Lett; the next season, just a few months after the Super Bowl, he had another mental misfire. With 15 seconds remaining and leading by a score of 14-13, Dallas blocked a Miami field goal attempt, and the ball squirted harmlessly away onto the snowy field. Lett attempted to fall on it, but only knocked the ball forward and Miami recovered it. The Dolphins then attempted another field goal, and this one was good. Making your two biggest mistakes on Super Bowl Sunday and Thanksgiving Thursday? Rough. If there’s any consolation for Lett, though, it’s this: the loss didn’t keep Dallas from storming to a repeat Super Bowl victory.
4. Cross the dang goal line!
It happens every season — somebody drops the ball before they get over the goal line, and the rest of the world wonders what the hell they were thinking. The most famous incident might be DeSean Jackson’s 2008 blunder, where he threw away a spectacular Donovan McNabb pass on what would have been his first NFL touchdown. Don’t do this, folks:
3. Helmet toss
You don’t get any more Browns than this: In the 2002 season opener, the Browns led the Chiefs 39-37 with four seconds left in the game. Dwaye Rudd and the rest of the Browns defensive line swarmed Chiefs quarterback Trent Green. Rudd thought he’d sacked Green, and whipped off his helmet and threw it in exultation. But Green had actually lateraled the ball to John Tait, who rumbled all the way to the Cleveland 26. Refs flagged Rudd for unsportsmanlike conduct, and since the game can’t end on a defensive penalty, the Chiefs got one play from the 13-yard line. Morten Andersen kicked Kansas City to a one-point win, and Cleveland got another only-in-Cleveland story added to its legacy.
2. Fail Beary
Washington is for Sunday’s Hail Mary, but we’re going with this one, . Because as spectacular as the play was, what raises it to the level of art is the utter and complete boneheaded play by Tyrique Stevenson, who spent precious seconds taunting Washington fans with his back to the play, and then tipped the ball right into receiver Noah Brown’s hands. That’s as instant as karma gets. When your own fans are telling you to pay attention to the game, well … you’ve done something special.
The ultimate outcome of this play is yet to be determined. It could cost the Bears a playoff spot, it could cost several people their jobs … the Fail Beary is the gift that’s going to keep on giving.
1. The Worst Play in NFL History
You probably already knew this one was coming, didn’t you? Poorly designed, poorly executed, the Colts’ attempt at a fake punt against the Patriots in 2015 went so, so horribly wrong:
According to then-Colts punter Pat McAfee — wonder what he’s up to these days — the idea was to try to fake out the Patriots by thinking the entire punt team was subbing out for the offense. Then one man lined up offsides, and the rest of the team lined up on him, making it an illegal formation. Oh, and the “center” — wide receiver Griff Whalen — was supposed to just hold the ball to try to draw the Patriots offsides. But Whalen had never actually practiced the play before, so when he felt hands on his butt, he went ahead and snapped the ball — and everyone got mauled. Absolute catastrophe. It’ll never get any worse than that … or will it?