Sunday, December 22, 2024

With Jake Paul vs. Mike Tyson, all 65 million viewers got what we deserved

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If you were disappointed with Jake Paul vs. Mike Tyson, you weren’t paying attention. (AP Photo/Julio Cortez)

ARLINGTON, Texas — When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

That Maya Angelou adage applies perfectly to the predictably farcical “fight” millions worldwide witnessed from AT&T Stadium on Friday night. We got from this ill-conceived, circus-like clash of generations generally what we should’ve expected.

To call Jake Paul vs. Mike Tyson a glorified sparring session is insulting to those that actually take sparring seriously. This was more a shrewd, 27-year-old businessman in the heart of his physical prime acknowledging almost immediately that an opponent approaching 60 had no business being in a boxing ring with him.

If you think Paul wasn’t well aware of this high probability long before he fought the legendary former heavyweight champion, you haven’t been paying nearly enough attention to Paul’s progression from novice novelty act to cash-grabbing global superstar.

Paul and his business partner, MVP Promotions co-founder Nakisa Bidarian, chose Tyson as his opponent for this Netflix fight Paul’s company first secured in November 2023 because they uniquely understood that a reinvented Tyson’s mass appeal trumped any physical limitations Tyson would’ve had as a 58-year-old opponent who hadn’t boxed in an official fight since June 2005.

Tyson was willingly complicit, mind you, in agreeing to modified rules and inevitable embarrassment on the grandest stage.

They fought eight two-minute rounds and wore 14-ounce gloves, which had more padding than the typical 10-ounce gloves worn for heavyweight fights. Even those concessions weren’t enough to help Tyson make their boring bout remotely competitive.

Why this surprised even the millions of casual boxing observers who watched an aged, injured Tyson nibble on his gloves more than he threw punches is absolutely baffling.

UNITED STATES - JUNE 11:  Boxing: Kevin McBride looking at Mike Tyson after 6th round knock down during heavyweight fight at MCI Center, Washington, DC 6/11/2005  (Photo by John Iacono/Sports Illustrated via Getty Images)  (SetNumber: X73669 TK1)UNITED STATES - JUNE 11:  Boxing: Kevin McBride looking at Mike Tyson after 6th round knock down during heavyweight fight at MCI Center, Washington, DC 6/11/2005  (Photo by John Iacono/Sports Illustrated via Getty Images)  (SetNumber: X73669 TK1)

Mike Tyson’s final pro fight before Friday night did not go well against Kevin McBride. (John Iacono/Sports Illustrated via Getty Images)

In 2005, Tyson, then 38, very specifically told the whole world after he quit on his stool against gigantic Irish underdog Kevin McBride that the ferocity required of prizefighters wasn’t in his heart anymore. The youngest heavyweight champion in this sport’s storied history was an emotionally and physically beaten man, unable 19 years ago to properly prepare to defeat even the type of pedestrian opponent he would’ve obliterated during his renowned reign as “The Baddest Man on the Planet.”

One of the most complicated, fascinating figures in American sports history simply did it back then because he needed the money. That’s the same sad reason why Tyson fought Danny Williams, who knocked him out in the fourth round 10 months before McBride beat him, and Lennox Lewis, who pummeled him three years prior to the unheralded McBride ending his career, and so many other opponents after he was released from prison in March 1995.

The Brooklyn native spent a significant portion of his celebrated career playing a role he was no longer equipped to fulfill.

He begrudgingly did it again Friday night. This time, his antagonistic accomplice promised a “real fight,” only to admit afterward that he carried Tyson through the back end of their abbreviated bout because he didn’t want to hurt a wildly popular opponent 31 years his senior.

“There was a point where, you know, I was just like, ‘OK, he’s not really engaging back. And so, I don’t know if he’s tired or whatever,’” Paul surprisingly stated at his post-fight press conference. “And I could just tell his age was showing a little bit. And I just have so much respect for him, and that like violence, war thing between us — like after he slapped me I wanted to, you know, be aggressive and take him down, knock him out and all that stuff. But that kinda went away as the rounds went on.”

One could consider this a noble act of compassion from Paul, if not for the infuriating fact that it is precisely why their fight never should’ve been scheduled.

Paul and Tyson aren’t the only ones to blame for foisting such ridiculousness on the paying public. Those that run the regulatory agency that approved Paul-Tyson as an official fight — the Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation — should be put on notice as well.

Yes, it was an almost incomparably marketable mismatch that made plenty of money for the state of Texas through various taxes on the event, as well as tourism and other revenue generated for the local economy because it was attended by a crowd in excess of 72,000. That doesn’t mean government agencies that exist to protect the health and safety of fighters, as well as the paying public’s best interests, should approve anything pitched by audacious, masterful promoters much more concerned with appearances and profits than legitimate competition.

One could consider this a noble act of compassion from Paul, if not for the infuriating fact that it is precisely why their fight never should’ve been scheduled.

Paul (11-1, 7 KOs) didn’t simply admit he carried Tyson to the final bell. The Disney actor-turned-social-media-superstar-turned-prizefighter practically confessed that everything he told the public prior to “fighting” Tyson (50-7, 44 KOs, 2 NC) was almost as much scripted entertainment as the WWE work his older brother carries out in a much more acceptable forum.

“I think so, but people just love to hate me,” Jake Paul said when asked during his post-fight press conference if consumers should start accepting him for what he is. “I’m easy to hate. And I intentionally say things to make people hate me. I play the heel. I feed into that and, you know, that’s just what I like to do. And that’s what entertainment is. And at the end of the day, I started as a 17-year-old in Los Angeles, in the entertainment business.

“But I’ve been in this sport for four and a half years and have been so active, doing every event, taking any fight possible. So, if you want to see more, or this challenge or, ‘Fight this person,’ whatever it is, my response is just give it a couple more months because I’m going to accomplish more things in just a matter of months. And I plan on doing everything in this sport that there is to be done.”

A couple minutes later, Paul mapped out a path toward a cruiserweight world title he thinks he can win within 24 months. To that end, he did knock out two cruiserweights with similar experience — Andre August and Ryan Bourland — in back-to-back lower-profile fights during an active two-and-a-half month span from last December 15 to March 2.

Nothing he has done since he beat Bourland indicates, however, that Paul will resume his pursuit of first becoming a ranked cruiserweight contender. And frankly, why would he?

Paul reportedly earned more than $40 million for facing a former heavyweight champion one could argue was washed up nearly 30 years ago. According to a press release issued Saturday morning, approximately 65 million of Netflix’s 283 million subscribers worldwide watched Paul enable Tyson to embarrass himself hopefully one last time for a massive payday.

Even millions of those who knew better tuned in out of curiosity. Most of them simply wanted to see Tyson clip Paul with the type of pulverizing punch that would finally shut up one of the sport’s spectacular trash-talkers.

They instead watched a shell of the shell of Tyson.

ARLINGTON, TEXAS - NOVEMBER 15: Mike Tyson (in black short) and Jake Paul (in silver short) exchange punches during their heavyweight world titles of the Premiere Boxing Championship on Friday night at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas, United States on November 15, 2024. (Photo by Tayfun Coskun/Anadolu via Getty Images)ARLINGTON, TEXAS - NOVEMBER 15: Mike Tyson (in black short) and Jake Paul (in silver short) exchange punches during their heavyweight world titles of the Premiere Boxing Championship on Friday night at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas, United States on November 15, 2024. (Photo by Tayfun Coskun/Anadolu via Getty Images)

Mike Tyson did not dial back the clock against Jake Paul. (Tayfun Coskun/Anadolu via Getty Images)

Paul won’t be able to find another easy mark more popular than Tyson. However you feel about Paul’s progress, or lack thereof, there is no denying that he is a wildly successful salesman strongly supported by a legion of loyalists who seemingly could not care less how many retired or otherwise unacceptably old opponents he fights.

As long as they keep lining Paul’s pockets, there isn’t much incentive for him to truly pursue the types of fights he swears he wants. That said, it is increasingly difficult to take anything he says seriously.

He stated during the abovementioned post-fight press conference that he couldn’t fight UFC superstar Conor McGregor in a 170-pound bout. That’s understandable because Paul is a cruiserweight who weighed in at a career-high of 227.25 pounds to fight Tyson.

In that same press conference, Paul entertained the idea of boxing WBA lightweight champion Gervonta Davis. Presumably, Paul would want Davis to move up seven divisions to fight him.

Oh, and he still intends to fight four-division champ Canelo Alvarez, who, at 34, remains one of boxing’s best pound-for-pound fighters and a superstar who doesn’t need Paul to make tens of millions of dollars. Alvarez seemingly is too young, too great, too tough, too everything, to take Paul’s promotional bluster as a genuine indication that the instigating influencer truly wants to fight him.

Keep in mind, Paul lost a split decision to Tommy Fury, more recognizable as Tyson Fury’s younger half-brother than anything he has accomplished in boxing. A rematch of that February 2023 bout seems like a reasonable pursuit for Paul, but he doesn’t mention it much.

Paul didn’t offer any hints as to who he might fight following the smashing commercial success of the heavily scrutinized Tyson event. Comedian Dan Carney playfully suggested Paul should fight Joe Biden next, now that the 81-year-old outgoing president’s calendar has been cleared beyond January 20.

We can only assume the Texas commission wouldn’t even approve Paul-Biden, though his fan base probably would love watching him batter Biden into retirement from public life once and for all.

Calm down, we at Uncrowned understand that’s an utterly ridiculous suggestion. The point is that Jake Paul is free to fight whichever opponents commissions are willing to approve.

To be fair, Paul has taken training very seriously and has had a very positive impact on the careers of two women his company promotes, Amanda Serrano and Shadasia Green. If his spectacles keep providing huge platforms to Serrano, who narrowly lost another spectacular slugfest to Katie Taylor in the co-feature Friday night, and Green, who won the WBO super middleweight title by beating Melinda Watpool earlier on the Paul-Tyson undercard, something praiseworthy and constructive can continue to come of more unconventional ventures.

Paul and Bidarian obviously know what makes great theater and even bigger bank. Those that don’t like it can ignore it, just like any other form of entertainment people might find objectionable.

As for everyone else that chooses to at least take a look at Paul’s next spectacle, watch with a closed mind and accept it for what it is. No matter what he says, simply keep in mind that when someone shows you who they are, believe them.

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